i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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