My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
