This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
