so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
