he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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