Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
