my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
