i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
