ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
