you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
But theres a keg here and me gusta
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
