Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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