were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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