Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
