and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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