I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
