If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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