I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
