was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
