took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize