I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
