that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
