areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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