Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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