so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
