yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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