For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize