yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
