some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
