Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize