windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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