They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
