I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
