erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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