trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
please don't ironically join a cult
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