She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
