you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
