But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
