I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize