We're like a lot better than the average bears
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
