A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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