just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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