we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize