I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
