dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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