Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize