I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
we should paint friendship bongs
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