the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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