she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
