there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
