is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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