So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
