Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
