So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
