I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
