Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize