i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
