Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
