Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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