She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
