He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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