he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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