It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
