question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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