The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
