you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
