Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
