watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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