Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
