Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
