remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
