How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
