Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
