If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
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