Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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