: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
