you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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