Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
