Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
